Monthly Archive for June, 2006

I found these macro photos of bugs on Digg, and thought you guys might either a) enjoy them, or b) be completely grossed out by them. This one‘s my favourite because it looks crazily sci-fi.

What? Not every post has to be funny, does it?

On the walk home yesterday I encountered a matte black ’72 Chevy Impala that seemed to be – at first glance – sunk into a ’72-Impala-shaped pothole about two feet deep.  As I approached it (the roof of the car just below hip-height) I realized it was in fact the lowest of all low-riders I’d ever seen in my life.  I almost broke out into giggles.  The undercarriage was about a millimetre from the asphalt, and you probably couldn’t have fit a dime under the front bumper.

Glancing inside as I passed, I admired the wine-coloured velour interior, the phone-book sized hydraulics control panel, and the driver – a thin white guy dressed in a white sport jacket and silly newsboys cap, you know, like the one you sometimes see the REM guy wearing – whatsisname – Michael Stipe or whatever.  He turned to glare at me as I walked by, showing off a pair of rhinestone shades and a dopey little mustache.  It was then that I developed the following theory:

6/06/06 did indeed produce the Antichrist, he came not on a flame-snorting ethereal steed but an American car, and then he moved to Calgary.  (Although, he should have moved to a city that doesn’t have any speedbumps or potholes, given the ridiculousness of his ride.)  I think we now have to start the seven-year countdown to the Rapture, or whatever it is that happens next.  And for anyone who questions my theory I posit the following: can you picture the spawn of the Devil driving anything else except the car I described above?

Wow.  I can’t wait to move back to the Stalbert.

PS. Yes, I’m well aware that the picture is of a ’67 Impala.  But it was so Satanic I couldn’t resist.