Well, it’s official. I am leaving Calgary for good.
In less than a month, I shall embark on a fascinatingly dull journey across Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and the boring parts of Ontario, to finally set foot on the glorious river-island thing that is Montreal, Quebec.
Hey, maybe I’ll be caught on that Just for Laughs: Gags show? I could be all “Mon dieu! Quelle surprise!” and stuff.
Uh, but, yeah—I now must partake in the horrifically stressful ritual of moving. Truthfully, although I’ve yet to begin, I’m already sick of it. This time is even worse than my relocation to Calgary. I’ve since bought some annoyingly large furniture that, I think, wouldn’t have fit in HUB Mall.
Though, despite the annoyances of boxing everything up, carrying it down four stories into a U-Haul or Budget Rent-A-Thing and driving for four-or-five straight days, I could not be more excited to move. (Or, more specifically, I could not be more excited to arrive—the moving process is decidedly less exciting.)
You see, Alberta is not where I’m supposed to be. This has been clear for some time now, especially after traveling. Alberta’s culture, politics, ideologies—it’s all so… uniformly Alberta. Not me at all. So, while the rest of the world seems to be rushing into Calgary, I am getting the heck out.
Now, who wants to help me move? Anyone? I pay diddly-squat, if that helps.
a) Huzzah for the big move! (I’m working myself into a frenzy of excitement mainly for your sake, though really I’m less than thrilled that ‘Premee & Co.’ is being reduced to ‘Premee and those two guys in other parts of Canada.’ This makes me sad.) But huzzahs are still order. Huzzah!
b) Is it just me, or are you the only one posting to SodaCraze, while I’m the only one commenting?
c) How can you not love Alberta? It’s got cowboys! It’s got beef! And… large glass bowls! (The Smithsonian seems to like us, anyway. See http://www.cbc.ca/story/arts/national/2006/06/27/alberta-smithsonian.html for further.)
d) I would love to help you move, except since I helped Kristy move in December, my rates have gone up. I used to accept payment in goodwill and diddly-squat, but I will henceforth only accept payment in websites. (You know the one I mean.)
b) Since this is probably my first real post, I still think you’re the primary poster here.
And as for everyone else, seriously—do you guys even know that you can post here?
c) How can I not love Alberta? Well, I’ll always have a certain fondness for it, since I grew up here, but it’s not exactly a diverse cultural landscape.
Also, it’s got cowboys. And beef. And Ralph Klein, Stephen Harper, Preston Manning, etc. etc.
d) I know which one you mean? Uh… Oh! I do know which one you mean! Email me and we’ll discuss what to do with the ol’ professor.
b) I concur. Seriously: people have promised posts since approximately April, and I know for a *fact* that no one is so busy that they can’t take fifteen minutes to contribute to the Craze. I mean, I know one chick who spends seven hours a day thinking about the first-dance song for her wedding, for Gob sake.
d) Excellent, excellent. I’ll have my people contact your people. Also, I would still be delighted to help you move – others can attest to my talent for packing, padding, cleaning, and carrying boxes half my body weight – but don’t expect me to be standing there with my arms out when the time comes to carry that damn couch down four flights of stairs.
a) Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! (Three is the customary number, I believe.)
b) This serves as a counterexample to the commenting sub-claim. Since the two sub-claims are conjoined, the entire claim is thus disproved. Feel free to curl up with the claim and console it while it wallows. Being disproved is tough on a claim, from what I heard.
c) Beef is not a valid differentiator. You know they eat beef in Montréal, don’t you? They have particularly tasty beef there. Also, I believe that Mr. Harper currently resides out of province.
I DO NOT spend seven hours a day thinking about the first-dance song for my wedding, I’ll have you know! It’s more like four-and-a-half.
Also, I have forgotten how to post. And I have nothing of any interest to post on anyway. I mean, does anyone else care about my first-dance song? Really?
Although I am a big Alberta fan and can’t imagine calling anything else home, there really is good beef elsewhere. In fact, Houston had a fantastic beef dish at a really classy sushi place. I am all about traveling for food.
As for Kim, I will pretend to care about your first dance song for two reasons: 1) Because one needs to be able to dance to their first song and 2) because our DJ screwed us over at our wedding. I specifically asked him to email me a list of waltz’ because that is what we were comfortable dancing to. He sent us the list and the Wednesday before the wedding Warren and I decided to practice only to discover the dance we had chosen was in fact not a waltz and not danceable to a waltz. Nothing like googling dance steps 3 days before the wedding and having to learn the fox trot in an evening.
That’s a pretty amusing mental picture: “Whaddya mean it’s not a waltz? We’ve been practicing waltzing for two months!”
On the other hand, I don’t know if Kim and Kerry are planning on actually dancing their first dance, or doing the ‘My God, I’ve been up since four this morning and these shoes are killing me’ swaying slowly from side-to-side dance that appears so often at weddings.
A good song for that would be ‘Las Palabras de Amor,’ by Queen. Word to the wise.
Good luck on the move to Montreal and the long drive there… been there done that. Took me 4 days to get from Ottawa back home (and all alone the second time!)
I love it down east and would love to try it out there again someday (granted this move was my second.I keep coming back to Alberta!) I feel a little the same way about this province. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I am happy to be back with family and friends (whom I so clearly missed!) but love everything about Ottawa and Montreal.