This city causes me physical pain, but I’m trying to get into the Stampede spirit early. I figure I need at least a month to practice, since I a) actively loathe almost everything related to the Stampede, such as animal cruelty and country ‘music,’ and b) actively disdain the rest, such as faux cowboys with huge beltbuckles and bad attitudes. But everyone at the city is so damn gung-ho, and they seem so sincerely gung-ho, to the point of collective insanity, that I thought I’d better try to fit in as much as I could.
So I went to the Calgary Stampede website and went to the section labelled ‘Online Fun,’ which led me to the Stampede Nickname Generator. Which subsequently led to this horror:
I suspect it will take me some days to recover.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m Kim “Bootinbull” Scott. And I got a rather horrifying-looking old woman picture, instead of the winking hussy you got. Blech.
Yes, when I tried it with a boy name I got a rather louche-looking cowboy sort of pimp thing with a Latino moustache and a lazy eye.
Naturally, all these people are true representations of the Calgary Stampede spirit.
Blech.
Hahaha, I laughed out loud when I read that Premee! Mine was Solange “Piggyback” LeBlanc. Ridiculous, I say.
Well it’s Julie “Peg Leg” Perras for me. I agree with the rediculous!
Aargh! Why are these so horribly bad? There must be so many fun, cute cowgirl nicknames out there, yet they come up with… what does a piggyback have to do with the Stampede? And peg legs are for pirates!
This is… REDONKULOUS.
Oh no! It’s the return of Pryan!
Really, who says redonkulous?
…Doesn’t everyone say redonkulous? I’m confused.
Hey! Where’s my smiling hussy? What’s going on here… is it the vengeful ghosts of the Stampede come to vent their just fury on my innocent post? Help! Who you gonna call?
Never fear, my dear Chapsmacker. The smiling hussy hath returned.
And sodacraze is now on its own user account with a nice shiny new install of WordPress. It’s much happier this way. It told me so.
Hooray and thanks, Mr… (checks website)… ‘Little Gun.’
Ow. I thought these nicknames couldn’t get any worse…