A tad unseasonable, perhaps…
but I dig the Orson Welles voiceover.
Archive for March, 2008
As promised, here is the photo-essay of the craziness last night when the drugs were doing nothing to knock down the fever and everything seemed like a good idea (including doing a velociraptor-walk on the balcony in my glow-in-the-dark boxers complete with sound effects). I decided to make that most sublime of treats… chocolate-covered marshmallows!
I had the marshmallows already to try to make cornflake squares and leftover chocolate chips from a batch of frosted cookies around Halloween and some part of my brain was all, “Oh! Oh! Things that go together!”
Chocolate chips at fifteen seconds microwave time:
Chocolate chips at thirty seconds:
Dipping:
Too gooey to eat right away. Stuck in fridge on glass plate, took out this morning:
Ate four for breakfast, staggered around the apartment foaming at the mouth. Final verdict: BLECHHH. My fault for using those leftover milk chocolate chips. Would have been pretty good with semi-sweet or even bittersweet. But chocolate-covered marshmallows is the obvious thing to do when you’re up late and hysterical and your brain is baking, yes?
Q: How do you fix a really bad week?
A: Watch a movie about someone having an even worse week.
Holy crap. I knew it was going to be bad, but ’10,000 B.C.’ is a trainwreck. It was so horribly, terribly, gloriously bad that I thought I died partway through and went to Hell (and finished watching the movie, because Hell must produce a lot of these types of movies).
I watched most of it with both hands clamped over my mouth so the rest of the theater couldn’t hear my hysterical laughter (resulting in a lot of “Mmf! Mmph! Mmph mff mmff!”-type laughter) but at one point, there was a moment so bad that I burst out laughing. (As did the guy behind me, and the girl he was with whispered very loudly, “Matt, shhh!” I admit, it would have been kind of a touching scene. If it wasn’t SO BAD.) There were a couple of lines where it was like… OK, somebody sat down and wrote this dialogue. Fair enough. But then somebody approved it – someone chose not to edit it out – it was given to the actors – and they said it and it was recorded and we’re now watching it. At any point along that line of events somebody could have just said no. But here we are.
It also needed more giant killer birds. “Moa please!” Ha.
My final comment regards the ending, which was the kind of runny, smelly, silly cheese that the rest of the movie is composed of. And like everything else that happens, you can tell what’s coming next anywhere from twenty to forty-five minutes in advance. But still, well worth the free movie ticket. One and a half stars out of five.
This video is a promotional spot for Hart’s Seafood Buffet in Arkansas. It was featured on their website until it caught the attention of someone at BoingBoing.
Creepy ambient music accompanies slow-moving pans of a seafood buffet in a deserted restaurant. If you’ve had enough of the deep-fried horror, skip to the last third for extra creepiness.
Saw this on Digg today and had to share. (The Digg headline was “The Most Redneck Phrase Ever Captured On Paper”)
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