I don’t have cable, so when I watch late-night TV I get a lot of weird-haired evangelists and obscure movies. Another thing I get is infomercials, lots of ‘em, to the point where I start to wonder – around three in the morning – how I have lived this long in this GHASTLY WORLD, where my life is FILLED WITH INCONVENIENCES like DRIED-OUT TURKEY and UNACCEPTABLY OVERWATERED PLANTS.
Seriously, a few of us were discussing this a few weeks ago, and the common denominator for all infomercials appears to be pointing out how unbearably difficult and Dickensian our lives are without their miracle product. And I know, I know: they’re just trying to sell their product. But take this thing, for instance (LGT video):
Have you ever in your life shot toothpaste all over the bathroom, let alone every morning? I mean, I’m speechless. What on earth?
It’s the same with all the other infomercials. People slosh water willy-nilly on their plant stands, they spend fifteen hours taping off a room before they paint it, they fill their entire house with produce that rots in minutes. And then the infomercial guys swoop down and are all, “You don’t have to SUFFER ANY LONGER!”
Readers, got any favourite infomercials? Favourite staged suffering in an infomercial? Favourite silly product name?
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