A buddy of mine went to jolly Eng-a-land and brought me back, as requested, edible souvenirs! Now I frequent the British candy stores in Edmonton whenever I can and have developed, for example, a serious, serious addiction to Tunnock’s Caramel Wafers, but he brought me some stuff that I’d vaguely heard of but never considered, you know, eating.
This was one of them. “A Flake bar?” I said aloud to my empty condo. “A ‘Flake’ bar? ‘Flake’? What the hell is it made out of, dandruff?”
In fact it is delicious milk chocolate that turns into strange splinters and shards in one’s mouth and vanishes instantly! Oh, those wacky Brits.
And these are Vin Diesel mints… either that, or you have to be over eighteen to eat them, I’m not sure. Anyway, I’ve survived rounds of super-sour Japanese candies and entire tins of Altoids, so I scoffed at the ‘super-strong’ claim on the wrapper.
Sorry there’s no scale here. Listen, these are big suckers. It’s about as tongue-stingingly minty as an Altoid, but rougher and huger and yes, it’s like having a burning icecube in your mouth. Seriously, I almost spit the first one out because my sinuses were starting to vibrate. Now I’m addicted to them and I’m nursing the rest of the tube because I don’t know when I’ll get my next fix!
This one was by far my favourite. I had seen the gaudily wrapped packages of Jaffa Cakes in the stores and dismissed them because my brain somehow went Jaffa = java = coffee-flavoured.
But there’s no coffee involved at all!
Aw yeah, that’s the good stuff. Dark chocolate and some kind of fragile processed cake and a layer of resistant, not-too-sweet orange jelly. The entire thing was wadded into my mouth like a Twinkie after the first bite that I took for the benefit of the photo. I could eat a crate of these things.
No more FruitSponge bars for me. All Jaffa all the time. MUST HAVE MORE. MOVING TO ENGLAND BRB.
Readers, got any favourite ‘foreign’ treats or sweets?
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