Archive for February, 2010

Please Pardon the Schmaltz…

Up until the last few days, the 2010 Olympics seemed like some vague concept, rather than the massive event that it really is. I’ve been pretty blasé about it, mostly thinking about the Olympics in terms of how badly they’re going to screw up my commute. Of course, there have also been controversies aplenty, from massive budget overruns to concerns about the treatment of people in the Downtown Eastside. Suffice it to say, my feelings about the Olympics could be summed up as: Meh.

But then the travel stories started popping up, replete with recommendations for things to do and places to see and restaurants to eat at. And the slideshows. Oh gob, the slideshows. It’s gotten to the point where I click on every Vancouver tourism story I see, just for a quick pick-me-up. You know, Vancouver is an amazing city. Where else do you have a cosmopolitan, multicultural city centre in proximity to the ocean and oodles of park space, with beautiful mountain views to boot? There is just so much to see and do here – I’m lucky enough to play tourist whenever I have out-of-town visitors, so I’ve seen and done a lot – but there’s still so much more!

And then this morning, my bus came to a full stop at Georgia Street downtown. At first, there was confusion; then we realized we couldn’t go any further because of the crowds that had gathered for the torch relay. My pal Hannah and I stood there just reveling in the energy of the crowd around us, dancing along with the music pumping from the trucks preceding the torch runner, and finally cheering when we saw the flame approach. For a couple of minutes, I felt like I was seven again, watching another Olympic torch pass me by on its way to Calgary. It was exhilarating!

And that, boys and girls, is the story of how the Grinch caught Olympic fever. To the rest of the world, whether you’re visiting Vancouver or watching the games from home, welcome to my adopted hometown. I hope you love it as much as I do.

Stupid Advertisements Part XIV

Here’s an online advertisement I saw on a news blog I like to read. One of those intelligence tests that harvests your email address in order for you to retrieve the results, I assume.

Well, 74, obviously. What kind of moron could possibly get that wrong? Oh, right—people who can’t see the entire visible colour spectrum; god, they’re dumb! Learn to apply yourselves for a change, you colourblind idiots, you!

Gone Wrong

Having been pinned by a piece of Ikea furniture, I decided to take a short break and clean out my bookmarks. And found a delightful little thing, one of those sites that makes you glad Al Gore invented the internet – Bugs of Chernobyl. This woman goes around to nuclear sites, including the former Chernobyl containment site, and documents the mutated insects there. They are truly lovely and a wonderful testament to the artistic powers of fugitive radioactivity.

And you know, it’s not always the case, is it, that when man messes with nature it turns out better than before? Cane toads in Australia: giant mess. Parasitic wasps in Hawaii, ditto. Kudzu, hey? Oops much?

Which reminded me of those big giant jellyfish in Japan, those nomura. At around 500 pounds they’re bigger than the average sumo; they clean the waters around them of all plankton and they poison fish, they tangle fishermens’ nets, they generally weird out the ecosystem. And there’s more of them every year. But you know why they’re blooming like that? Why the numbers go up every year? (PS. Aren’t they pretty?)

It turns out that a nomura isn’t killed by the average fishing net, so they land on the deck of the boat pretty well intact. Of course, you can’t have that; if you tip the stupid thing off the side, it’ll just get caught in the net again. So the fishermen generally take their work knives and slice it into several large pieces before shoving the rest overboard. But it’s been discovered that if you ‘breach’ a nomura, it’ll empty all its, um, what’s a good term for mixed company, all its genetic material into the water (this happens whether it gets sliced by knives or snagged on a piece of coral). So what are the fishermen doing? Creating a soup of eggs and sperm in the water. Fertilization, maturation, blooms.

Which makes you wonder if there’s anything that we can do, us humans, about the nomura (aside from making more nomura). Things like this, to me, are a pretty solid argument for the preservation of as much biodiversity as we can. Who’s to say that the natural enemies of the nomura won’t come seething up from the depths and take advantage of the bounty? Then, who’s to say that the ten species on which they depend will be there to ensure that happens? Or the ten species that each of those species count on? Or etc ad infinitum.

Anyway, the moral of this post is:
1. Things depend on things, even if we haven’t discovered the relationships yet.
2. Particleboard is heavy.