For the first time in my life, I’m suffering from seasonal allergies! Or, as I was whining to Carpool Boy on the way home today, “I think I’m allergic to spring!”
Previously my entire allergies list went like this:
- Canola pollen
- PABA (you know, that sunscreen stuff)
- Nickel
- Penicillin
And now it looks like I have to add a season to that list. Dang it! I’ve been miserable for two days now – stuffy, headachy, insomniac, laser-red eyes, and a crazy-making itch everywhere inside my head. I’m a little nervy about taking allergy meds that tell you right on the box to expect cardiac side effects, though. So today when I was at Superstore reading medication packets, I saw that they had neti pots on sale. And I was like, Hey, I totally read about those on CNN! What a good idea!
OK, so you know what waterboarding is, right?
The answer is: TORTURE.
Do you know what the difference is between using a neti pot and being waterboarded?
(crickets)
Exactly.
I read the instructions very carefully and angled my head like I was told (this was all relational, you know, your forehead should be higher than this and lower than that, your torso should be here in comparison to the sink, etc) and proceeded to drown myself. And swear. And sputter and choke and flail and try to slap one hand with the other to make the torture stop. I think I may even have confessed.
After sending about a third of the first potful into the mirror, sink, counter, and wall in a high-velocity spray, I refilled it – refusing to admit defeat to a PVC nasal irrigation device, which is a sentence I never expected to type – I got the technique down and holy crap, I cannot emphasize enough how much better my congestion is. My whole head feels cleaner and lighter, which is such a change from the last 48 hours that I almost feel drunk on oxygen. (Technique, however, is key. Protip: don’t tilt your head back at all, or the saltwater will run down your throat and make you cough. But don’t tilt your head too far forward either or it’ll feel like the solution is touching your brain, which is also unpleasant.)
I also – having, admittedly, not much faith in things I read on CNN – bought two packages of the least deadly-looking allergy medication I found. But I don’t think I need it now. Yeehaw! Y’all, if you’re having a tough spring, I’m now officially recommending one of these things. It cost about $10, you can use it forever, it’s only really torture for a couple of minutes, and you’ll feel so much better.
Our yoga instructor last year highly recommended the neti pots but I haven’t tried it yet…I am too scared.
But, I should cause I have wicked allergies!
You’re allergic to nickel? Hilarious and/or ironic.
Solange: not gonna lie, the first thirty seconds were TERRIFYING. I really thought I was going to pour the entire half-cup of solution directly into my lungs and DIE. But it’s not so bad once you figure it out! I still recommend it!
Skepptic: yeah, it’s funny they don’t ask for that at the medical, eh? Although I hear it’s quite common, something like 20% of the population. It does give me a great opportunity to inform friends and family that if they feel inclined to buy me jewelry it has to be gold. “Or platinum! I don’t think I’m allergic to platinum!”
DEAR GOD THE NETI POT HORRIFIES ME. My househusband has one and has been insisting for years I try it (any time I sniffle, he’s suggesting it, making me think he has some bet about getting me to us it riding on it with a friend). I take loratadine every night before bed and it does the trick mostly, and works well with my cat allergies.
He finds using it in the shower easiest. I shall continue resisting.
I haven’t tried using it in the shower yet! An intriguing idea.
Or wait, is there some kind of snorkel apparatus involved? I can’t see how you could use it in the shower and still breathe…
ROTFLMAO!
I work in a carbon fiber plant, and they have eyewash stations in case someone gets fiber dust in their eyes. Antyway, when the spring allergies get unbearable (as far as the itchy eyes are concerned) I go use the eyewash station at work.
Another cure for things in my eyes would have been to read this article.
Ok Bill…breath in…breath out…breath in…breath out.
Bahaha! I work at a nickel refinery, and we also have eyewash stations, but I’m such a big baby about checking the inspection and expiry dates that I assume, in the event of getting sulphuric acid in my eyes, I’d just go blind while I was standing there going “Hmmm, this says MARCH 2010.”
No, no. These are a pair of tiny little shower heads that point upwards! Just lean over and hit the lever and it’s like a car wash for your eyeballs.
Every home should have one.
Oh, I remember seeing those at a few of the labs I used to work at… that wouldn’t work here though. The guys would just use them as drinking fountains, handy sites to attend to dental hygiene at the end of a shift, locations of moist practical jokes, etc. :-S