Author Archive for Mark
With profuse apologies to Premee for immediately pushing down an interesting post about literature and censorship to make room for Shatner and his mountain.
Here’s an online advertisement I saw on a news blog I like to read. One of those intelligence tests that harvests your email address in order for you to retrieve the results, I assume.

Well, 74, obviously. What kind of moron could possibly get that wrong? Oh, right—people who can’t see the entire visible colour spectrum; god, they’re dumb! Learn to apply yourselves for a change, you colourblind idiots, you!
In honour of Death Comes to Town (which I thought was great, by the way), here is my favourite KITH sketch:
I collect the movie stubs for every movie I see. I’ve done so ever since The Mummy on May 7th, 1999. I have no idea why that movie in particular sparked the habit, but whatever—it’s fun.
I think there’s only a few stubs that I’ve ever lost. Once was for Star Wars Episode One (of which I’m not too distraught over) because theatre employees collected our stubs at the cinema door. (Yes, that’s the stubs of the tickets they had already collected. Weirdos.) There’s also a James Bond movie missing because my parents bought the ticket for me one winter holiday and I had forgotten to ask for my ticket.
I’ve noticed that many of my stubs have started to fade. The one for the movie “Blue Streak” is illegible to the point where I can’t make out the date. Squinting at it made me feel old. I know, I know… 29-and-a-half isn’t very old at all, particularly when most people regard their 30s as their favourite years. But I feel cheated of the typical youth experience, having spent my teens and early twenties in the closet.
It was a different time then, mind you, and even negative experiences helped shape who I am now. Entering a third decade will be exciting; and although there’s stuff to mourn in the transition, I’ve got some stubs to remind me that there were good nights with good friends; it wasn’t all bad.
Do any of you collect these things too?
I just found out that the Canadian Blog Award rules lets you vote once per day. Slap came in a really close second in round one, so please help push it over the top!
More time well wasted with The Onion:
Sites like this really shouldn’t waste as much of my time as they do. But, it’s just… the people…

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