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Author Archive for Mark
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I don’t remember if I actually put any money in the Rockola along the wall of the lunchroom of St. Albert Catholic High School circa 1995, but this morning I woke up with some very distinct memories of it…
I clicked on an ad today (I know, I know, but it looked like it had a hot shirtless guy in it), and was brought to a website selling some sort of protein supplement. Here’s the photo from the page that I was brought to:
Hey, good for Terry! That’s great progress in just four weeks. But, in all honesty, I’m a little concerned about the side effects of this workout. It appears that after starting Terry’s plan, your hair will starting growing about an inch per week! Just imagine the cost of haircuts.
I think I’ll just stick to a regular routine.
I found a video called “Lost in a moment” while searching to see if there were any Kaiten-zushi restaurants in Montréal. There’s something almost tranquil about the sushi conveyor, even though everyone around it is in a hurry.
lost in a moment from dennis wheatley on Vimeo.
I recently discovered Manos: The Hands of Fate via a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 DVD I borrowed from the public library. After having endured the whole thing (thanks to the MST3K crew, bless their precious hearts), I would like to officially declare—in much the same way that news stations can declare election results before every vote is counted—that I’ve just seen the worst movie ever made.
Yes, yes, I’ve seen Plan 9 From Outer Space. This is worse. Much worse, I should say, since I consider Plan 9 to be quite entertaining.
The whole thing is available on YouTube, but I warn you, it is not the MST3K version. There is no witty commentary to carry you through the excruciatingly long countryside opening sequence; no one to quip at the out-of-focus, off-centred, and sloppily edited shots; nothing to dull the pain of the repetitive dialogue spouted by a dozen-or-so nightgown-clad, entranced brides.
I think the only way in which my life is not worse for having seen this film is that I now have my Halloween costume idea. I shall be Torgo.
Have you ever heard a song, liked it, then saw the video and completely changed your mind?
Here’s Kate Ryan’s rendition of Ella elle l’a (Which I’ll translate to “Ella, she’s got it,” at the expense of a clever, but untranslatable pun). It’s an admittedly catchy dance cover of France Gall’s tribute to Ella Fitzgerald. Not that you’d know this from the video, mind you. I guess the song is now about, er, slutty airline attendants?
I actually like the song, but the video… It’s just… I… what?
It’s like a joyfulness, like a smile—something in the voice that seems to say to us, “come.” Something that makes us feel strangely good. It’s like the whole history of black people, which balances between love and despair. Something that dances inside of you. If you’ve got it, you’ve got it; Ella, she’s got it. Oh, also, FLY KATE RYAN AIR! There’s sluttiness abounds!
Flight of Stairs
by Mark, circa 1993
Once I fell down a flight of stairs
Oh, the horrible pain!
I got back up and went to the top
But then I fell down again
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